Blame Pie All Hot and Ready

I can't even begin to describe the absolute and utter shock my entire brain and body is in right now after the Super Bowl. I am dumbfounded. I can not believe that the 18-0 Patriots let this game get away from them. Let me start this off by taking NOTHING away from the Giants, their fans or coaching, they played a great game and did what they have to do to win. But the gigantic brain fuck that the entire Patriots organization committed during that game, is like a big kick to the balls. And believe me, I don't want your pity, I don't want you to feel bad for me, I don't give a shit. Now its time for me to dish out the blame, based purely on my rage. If you disagree stop reading.


5 Kicks to the Balls

1. Dan Koppen, Logan Mankins, Matt Light and the rest of the Patriots who should have blocked (but didn't). When I heard Spagnulo say that he only blitzed 33% of the plays, my head nearly exploded. I could not understand how a Pro Bowl O Line got completed man handled for an entire game by what mostly was a three man rush. Jesus Christ, Justin Tuck and Alford were in the backfield for most of the game. Brady spent most of this game on his ass. They missed blocks, misdiagnosed blitzes repeatedly and just looked completely overmatched (I do give credit to the Giants D Line, and Linebackers they were filthy)

2. Bill Belichick- How the fuck did he get outcoached by Tom Coughlin. What backwards Year 3000 Bullshit is this. Coughlin barely had a job this year, almost getting fired before week 3, and in the end he gets the better of a coach who is vilified throughout the league. Going for it on 4th and 13 when you can get a field goal? Not adjusting to the blitzes, abandoning the running game, scoring with so much time left on the clock, just hucking up passes with 35 seconds left instead of trying to carve up the field with three TO's left. For a second there I thought Marty Schottenheimer was coaching the Pats.

Four Kicks in the Balls

1. Ellis Hobbs- True he had one interception but for fucks sake how can you leave Plexico Burress that wide open? My god stick to him like glue.

2. Tom Brady- Looked pretty mortal out there to me, couldn't avoid pressure, threw some terrible looking passes, didn't feel the rush, poor game calling and pass rush anticipation. Instead of Eli looking overwhelmed, it was Brady. His ankle definitely looked like it was in worse shape then the coaches let on. But at least he had Gisele to go home to.


Three Kicks in the Balls

1. Rodney Harrison & Asante Samuel- The catch by Tyree was insane, there was no way Harrison could have stopped that. But the missed tackle on Boss was inexcusable. That should have been a ten yard catch, but instead he blew a tackle and it turned into a 45 yard romp. Samuel, concentrate and catch that fucking interception


2. Randy Moss- After the first playoff game, I said to myself oh the Jags have good DB's they focused on shutting him down and did so. I made the same statement after the game against the Bolts. But jesus Moss, in the biggest game of your life you managed four catches? I know it was partly the pressure on Brady, but you are a game changer, you need to get yourself open make the damn catches. I hope to Christ I didn't waste 65 bucks on a Jersey for a player that played one year for the Pats.

Two Kicks in the Balls

1. Richard Seymour- Dude, shut up. You are a trash talker to the nth degree, and you will deny it. But for fucks sake, why taunt the Giants while they are driving? Do you really need to give them any more motivation to shove it down your throat? Its nice to see my team trash talk when they put very limited pressure on Eli Manning all game. Dude Fuck you.

2. Stephen Gostkowski- You have two jobs dickweed, kick field goals, and smash the ball down the field WITHOUT kicking it out of bounds. Those two parts of your job description is what separates you from Lenny who pumps gas over at Citgo. Yet the easiest part of your job you FAILED at, you kicked a god damn kickoff out of bounds. I laughed when we played Carolina in the Super Bowl and Jon Kasey did the same thing. Great job numbnuts.

A slight glance off the testicle

1. Ben Watson- Hi, our solid Tight End, who has been a great asset all year, did you play in the Super Bowl? I didn't see you in the vicinity of any of Brady's passes, and you obviously blew ass blocking as Umienyora and Strahan were face fucking Brady all game. You may be a religious man, but God didn't seem to want to help you in the Super Bowl.

2. Chris Hanson- Remember what I said about Gostkowski, same thing applies to this ass clown. Nice punt into the end zone, and mediocre punts all game, never pinning the Giants deep in their own territory. Enjoy the unemployment line next year, good riddance.


So there you have it, my venomous rant against the team I loved all season long. In one game, the perfect storm happened, a team that was perfect completely fell apart all over the field. Stupid mistakes, rigidity on the part of the coaches, and a lack of fire. This had the feeling of the 2003 ALCS all over again, I have lost my appetite, had trouble sleeping, have been in a bitchy mood and am pretty depressed right now. But there is some light at the end of the tunnel, pitchers and catchers report in 10 days, and the Celtics are playing good basketball, maybe that will help ease the pain....

Fantasy Football Waste of Space Team- 2007-08

This year more than any there were a group of football players, that pundits and fans alike had high up on their fantasy draft boards. During live drafts, we had our cheat sheets, with projections and inside information that we thought no one else knew. We delighted when we grabbed a player we thought would lead us to that prize, and screamed when he disappointed us. I had at least four teams this year, and my roommate had a handful as well. I rode the ups and downs of these players, but for some the valleys were far lower, and these shitbricks were by far the worst.

QB- VINCE YOUNG- Ok, maybe this was me over reaching here. I thought Young could become a young Steve McNair, and lead a decent team to the top. Throw some TD's, run around alot, basically gain a shit load of points. But what I got instead was the AFC version of Tavaris Jackson, week after week of nothing. I picked this sack of crap in every league, and in every league by week 5 I dropped him for guys like Kurt Warner, Eli Manning (UGH), and trading for Brett Favre. My centerpiece of my offense was my ultimate downfall.
RB- STEVEN JACKSON- Blow me. I wasted the second draft pick on you, and you did crap all season. 16 TD's last season and only five so far. My team crashed and burned because of you. Sure you have stepped it up lately, but after I fell apart, who the hell cares?
RB- MAURICE JONES DREW- So I fell for the hype, he had a huge rookie campaign, and with an ailing Fred Taylor was showing that he could be an elite fantasy player. Yeah right. Well I don't know who to be angrier at, Jack Del Rio or Fred Taylor. I figured they would split some carries but MJD would emerge as the feature back by like Week 3, after Taylor would go down with a strained groin or something. Wrong, thanks for nothing.
WR- STEVE SMITH- You blow. I don't care if you had Vinny T throwing you the ball, get open be a god damn play maker. You had 6 Td's all season, all coming in three games. The rest you were a waste of space.
WR- MARVIN HARRISON- Jesus Christ, 2 TD's all season and then you go down and friggin f up my team with a knee injury. GOD DAMN IT.
TE- TODD HEAP- 06 Todd Heap- 796 Yards 6 Tds, 07 Todd Heap 239 Yards 1 TD. 08 Todd Heap, not going to happen again.

I'm not going to go into Defense and Kickers, because they were all kind of interchangeable....
Here are some honorable mentions though for position players:
Reggie Bush
Ronnie Brown
Lee Evans
Ben Watson
Marc Bulger
Marion Barber III

MItchell Report- My Thoughts

Its now four days after the report has come out, and all the talking heads have made their analysis about it. Most have focused their attention to the names that Mitchell reported, along with the canceled checks, orders for PED on team stationary and the like. I don't blame the media for zeroing in on the players, digging up names like Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens is huge, and casts a giant shadow over this generations perception of the game.

What ultimately will make this report a success or failure is MLB's willingness to implement the recommendations Mitchell made. The steps he laid down would give baseball a drug program that would rival the NFL and the Olympics, and would no longer be the joke of professional sports. But there remains a huge obstacle that would prevent baseball from making any progress, the Players Union. Donald Fehr has made it clear that baseball has a collective bargaining agreement in place until 2011, which both players and owners agreed upon, and he has no intention of violating or changing it. This reluctance to change will result in the continuing the current program, that allows players to be notified in advance, and give them ample opportunity to mask their results.

Personally, I think the Mitchell Report will result in nothing. A lot of talk, with very little practical implications for the MLB. Until the government steps in directly, and forces changes in the the policy, players will continue to cheat, and not get caught.

The "Who the Hell Cares" Bowl

BC loses the big game, and thus the bowl game has been selected and again we are going to some mid level shit bowl. The Champ Sports Bowl on December 28th at 5 o'clock, too early for me to even rationalize drinking during the game, and on a fucking Friday to boot. But this pain is left only for a small minority of Mass, as the rest of the state could care less. What irritates me to no end, is that BC has held its own over the past seven years, finishing in the top 25 four out of the last six years. BC holds the longest active streak of bowl wins, but for most cases they are pitted against inferior opponents. Lets look at BC's recent bowl history:

2000 Aloha Bowl- Beat Arizona State
2001 Music City Bowl- Beat Georgia
2002- Motor City Bowl- Beat Toledo
2003- S.F Bowl- Beat Colorado State
2004- Continental Tire Bowl- Beat UNC
2005- MPC Computer Bowl- Beat Boise State
2006- Car Care Bowl- Beat Navy

We have won, year after year in these garbage bowls, and you can now add Champ Sports to that list. Woop-dee-friggin-doo. Michigan State? Are you fucking kidding me, we just went toe to toe with a team that was #3 in the BCS and now we get to play a team that couldn't beat Northwestern? ......Sorry I was busy kicking my dog. BC is going to trounce the Spartans, why the hell couldn't they match us up with a team that would you know give us a challenge, not a team that was barely bowl eligible.

But in the end, I can bitch and moan, but its the fans fault we go through this every year. The Eagles travel like shit (jesus look at the ACC Champ game it was 1/4 full), so the bowls will over look us every year until we can prove them wrong. But then again we get picked for bowls that no one will travel to, and thus the cycle continues.

Good Bowls avoid BC because fans don't travel------->BC is selected for mid level bowl that don't interest Eagle fans----------> no one travels because no one cares

Repeat.

The Eagles have Landed

The ACC Title game is over and I have had to take a day to process the game. And by process I mean vomit, punch my bedroom wall, and scream. We had that game. BC should have won. VT was on the ropes in the first quarter, Matt was moving the ball with precision, the D was stepping up. Then Coach Jags made a decision to kick a FG, a decision that started my rapid descent into utter madness. Steve Aponoawhatever is a great story, which would be special for a mediocre school, but I BC had the opportunity to be huge, to make a splash in college football and this kid should not have been allowed to make defining plays. Put it this way, if he didnt have his fucking extra point blocked (with a subsequent 2 point return), and his FG blocked, there is a good possibility that the final BC drive could have been for the win. With less pressure on Matty Ryan.
But in the end we can make all the excuses in the world, Sean Glennon and Taylor tore us up in the 4th Quarter, and I'm sure the Bowl selections will again piss all over the Eagles. Instead of getting the Gator Bowl or Peach Bowl, we instead will go again to some Corporate sponsored bowl played in late December, and again we will play a team that is markedly inferior to us, and we will win again. Big fucking deal. This year felt special, Matty Ryan did a helluva good job with very little in terms of receivers, I thought we had a chance. We had the Orange Bowl in our grasp, but again BC lets me down. Fuck

I'm Sick of It

I'm sick of....
- Seeing Julio Lugo and Coco Crisp hitting 8th & 9th
- NOT seeing Jacoby Ellsbury pitch hitting for anyone
-Piles of runners left in scoring position (12 left on base all together last night) and the killer double plays
- Eric Gagne coming into meaningful games
- Dane Cook and that GPS Commercial that plays "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
- The National Sploogefest over the Colorado Rockies, when they beat an AL team in the World Series I will believe.
- Dice K's lack of control in the strike zone
- Inconsistent strike zones (for both teams)
- Getting "Thank you for Registering" emails, that tell me that even though I have been a loyal Red Sox fan, some slimey sun burnt scalper won your opportunity to purchase ALCS tickets.
- The National Media insisting that Manny doesn't try, doesn't hustle, doesn't care, and is a poor defensive left fielder. (LIES!)
- Hearing anyone mention that they would prefer Trot Nixon (.700 OPS) to JD Drew (.960 OPS)
- How everyone rips on Tim McCarver (rightfully so) but gives Joe Buck a free pass.
-Any sort of insinuation that Julio Lugo is a poor fielding shortstop this season
- Pundits and columnists who believe that this series is over...