Blame Pie All Hot and Ready

I can't even begin to describe the absolute and utter shock my entire brain and body is in right now after the Super Bowl. I am dumbfounded. I can not believe that the 18-0 Patriots let this game get away from them. Let me start this off by taking NOTHING away from the Giants, their fans or coaching, they played a great game and did what they have to do to win. But the gigantic brain fuck that the entire Patriots organization committed during that game, is like a big kick to the balls. And believe me, I don't want your pity, I don't want you to feel bad for me, I don't give a shit. Now its time for me to dish out the blame, based purely on my rage. If you disagree stop reading.


5 Kicks to the Balls

1. Dan Koppen, Logan Mankins, Matt Light and the rest of the Patriots who should have blocked (but didn't). When I heard Spagnulo say that he only blitzed 33% of the plays, my head nearly exploded. I could not understand how a Pro Bowl O Line got completed man handled for an entire game by what mostly was a three man rush. Jesus Christ, Justin Tuck and Alford were in the backfield for most of the game. Brady spent most of this game on his ass. They missed blocks, misdiagnosed blitzes repeatedly and just looked completely overmatched (I do give credit to the Giants D Line, and Linebackers they were filthy)

2. Bill Belichick- How the fuck did he get outcoached by Tom Coughlin. What backwards Year 3000 Bullshit is this. Coughlin barely had a job this year, almost getting fired before week 3, and in the end he gets the better of a coach who is vilified throughout the league. Going for it on 4th and 13 when you can get a field goal? Not adjusting to the blitzes, abandoning the running game, scoring with so much time left on the clock, just hucking up passes with 35 seconds left instead of trying to carve up the field with three TO's left. For a second there I thought Marty Schottenheimer was coaching the Pats.

Four Kicks in the Balls

1. Ellis Hobbs- True he had one interception but for fucks sake how can you leave Plexico Burress that wide open? My god stick to him like glue.

2. Tom Brady- Looked pretty mortal out there to me, couldn't avoid pressure, threw some terrible looking passes, didn't feel the rush, poor game calling and pass rush anticipation. Instead of Eli looking overwhelmed, it was Brady. His ankle definitely looked like it was in worse shape then the coaches let on. But at least he had Gisele to go home to.


Three Kicks in the Balls

1. Rodney Harrison & Asante Samuel- The catch by Tyree was insane, there was no way Harrison could have stopped that. But the missed tackle on Boss was inexcusable. That should have been a ten yard catch, but instead he blew a tackle and it turned into a 45 yard romp. Samuel, concentrate and catch that fucking interception


2. Randy Moss- After the first playoff game, I said to myself oh the Jags have good DB's they focused on shutting him down and did so. I made the same statement after the game against the Bolts. But jesus Moss, in the biggest game of your life you managed four catches? I know it was partly the pressure on Brady, but you are a game changer, you need to get yourself open make the damn catches. I hope to Christ I didn't waste 65 bucks on a Jersey for a player that played one year for the Pats.

Two Kicks in the Balls

1. Richard Seymour- Dude, shut up. You are a trash talker to the nth degree, and you will deny it. But for fucks sake, why taunt the Giants while they are driving? Do you really need to give them any more motivation to shove it down your throat? Its nice to see my team trash talk when they put very limited pressure on Eli Manning all game. Dude Fuck you.

2. Stephen Gostkowski- You have two jobs dickweed, kick field goals, and smash the ball down the field WITHOUT kicking it out of bounds. Those two parts of your job description is what separates you from Lenny who pumps gas over at Citgo. Yet the easiest part of your job you FAILED at, you kicked a god damn kickoff out of bounds. I laughed when we played Carolina in the Super Bowl and Jon Kasey did the same thing. Great job numbnuts.

A slight glance off the testicle

1. Ben Watson- Hi, our solid Tight End, who has been a great asset all year, did you play in the Super Bowl? I didn't see you in the vicinity of any of Brady's passes, and you obviously blew ass blocking as Umienyora and Strahan were face fucking Brady all game. You may be a religious man, but God didn't seem to want to help you in the Super Bowl.

2. Chris Hanson- Remember what I said about Gostkowski, same thing applies to this ass clown. Nice punt into the end zone, and mediocre punts all game, never pinning the Giants deep in their own territory. Enjoy the unemployment line next year, good riddance.


So there you have it, my venomous rant against the team I loved all season long. In one game, the perfect storm happened, a team that was perfect completely fell apart all over the field. Stupid mistakes, rigidity on the part of the coaches, and a lack of fire. This had the feeling of the 2003 ALCS all over again, I have lost my appetite, had trouble sleeping, have been in a bitchy mood and am pretty depressed right now. But there is some light at the end of the tunnel, pitchers and catchers report in 10 days, and the Celtics are playing good basketball, maybe that will help ease the pain....